The Real Reasons Why You Are A Perfectionist For a long time, perfectionism was seen as a positive trait. It was a marker for success,…
How To Get What You Want
“A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.” J.R.R. Tolkien
How many times have you given up on something because you thought you’d never get there? If you don’t believe you can get what you want, you don’t put the effort in to try. Whether it’s pitching to a huge client, asking out that person who is ‘out of your league’ or not going for that promotion; we stop short of going for what we want because we don’t expect it to happen.
Your expectation of the future is holding you back.
You are never going to get what you want unless you go for it. You need to put the effort in to try and achieve those goals. So, to get what you want, it is time to let go of your expectations and start thinking about the endless possibilities of what you might achieve.
Is your life a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Throughout life, we like to anticipate what will happen. If someone says ‘we need to talk’ we automatically brace ourselves for negativity. We dip our toes tentatively into the swimming pool because we expect it to be freezing cold. We rarely act on what we want to happen. Instead, we work based on what we expect to happen.
So, by anticipating how life will go, we end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We don’t think we can get that promotion, so we don’t bother applying.
You don’t go over to that person in the bar, so you feel like you’re destined to be single forever.
You think that huge contract is way out of reach, so your business stays small.
However, by changing your expectations, you can start to believe that you really can get what you want. Remember, if you don’t think your future will improve, you won’t put in place the actions to create something better. Even if opportunities arise, you’ll probably dismiss them because of what you expect to happen, rather than what really can happen.
So, let go of the expectations and create new ones that help you to get what you want. In fact, studies show that when you positively change your expectation, you can dramatically improve your life and wellbeing.
10 Steps To Get What You Want
- Be aware of your expectations
Start recognising the times when you let your expectations get in the way. For each situation, ask yourself what you expect to happen. How does this expectation make you feel? Do you feel resigned or sad that you can’t see a positive outcome?
- What do you want instead?
When an expectation appears, ask yourself what you want to happen. Think about the positives that the situation can bring and which scenario you would prefer to take place.
- Work for what you want
Once you know what you want and what expectations were getting in your way, you can start to determine what you need to do to get what you want. Put in place all of the actions you have power over to help you to achieve your goal.
- Never settle
If you resign yourself to what you have now and don’t think you can achieve more, then you are unlikely to get what you want as you don’t have that determination to succeed. So, if there are still things you want in life, don’t just settle for what you have now. Make those dreams a reality.
- Set goals
Goals will help you to bridge the gap between who you are now and who you want to be. These goals don’t have to be small steps. If you want greatness, go for it and dream big.
- Assess your goals
There is no point just making goals for the sake of it. You’ve got to really want it. Think about your goals and whether you are willing to put in 100% effort to make them happen. If you are not fully motivated and inspired by your goals, they may not be right for you now. However, your priorities may shift in the future where these goals become more relevant.
- Write your goals down
You are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. So, once you know the goals that you really want to achieve, write them down. Keep these goals in a place where you can easily refer back to them to keep you motivated.
- Visualise your success
In a quiet place, take some time to visualise the success as you achieve each goal. Think about what the achievement will look like, who will be there and how you feel. Then make this positive image as big, bright and colourful as you can in your mind’s eye. The more detailed you can make this visualisation, the better. Then, keep this image in your head, so you feel inspired to get what you want.
- Share your goals
It can be really helpful to find a goal buddy. This is someone who you feel comfortable to share your goals with. You should feel at ease with this person to talk about the steps you are taking to reach your goals and discuss how your progress is going. This goal buddy should not be someone who shoots down your goals. Instead, they should support you and give you the encouragement you need to succeed.
What’s more, this goal buddy will make you feel accountable for your goals, so even when self-doubt sets in, you’ll still have the motivation to succeed.
- Enjoy each win
You may not be able to achieve your big life goals straight away, but you can make progress. You should celebrate each success in the journey to getting what you want. Knowing you are one step closer, deserves recognition and a chance to feel good about yourself while also encouraging you to work towards that next step.
Are you stuck in a trap of expectations?
If you’re struggling to let go of expectations and negative thought patterns, then my bespoke therapy package can really help. Together, we can work through a range of techniques that help you to let go of these negative expectations and help to get you on track to achieving your goals.
Start today with a free consultation. Simply email firstname.lastname@example.org to book your slot.