Dr. Michele Lastella, a sleep researcher at Appleton Institute for Behavioural Science at CQ University, has been investigating the link between sex and sleep. Based…
Have you ever wistfully looked at a couple kissing or hugging and wish that your relationship was similar? Perhaps you wonder whether you and your partner are having as much sex as other couples and whether it is healthy. Typically, we assume that happy couples will have more sex and those good relationships will be full of sexuality. Quite rightly, there is a great deal of importance of sex and intimacy in a relationship. So how can you make sure that you strike the balance of sexual and relationship happiness?
Many studies show that sex in a relationship contributes to the wellbeing of an individual. When a study compares the satisfaction of sex to income, having sex once was week has an effect of earning up to $75,000 a year. This shows the pleasure that sex can bring. On the other hand, the study showed that having sex less than once a month is comparable to making just $25,000 a year.
With the satisfaction and wellbeing benefits of sex, making sure it is right for you and your needs is essential, unfortunately for many people, it is hard to achieve the level of intimacy you (or they) are looking for. If you are unsatisfied with your sex life, you are not alone. Less than half of UK adults are satisfied with their sex life. So, is it time you prioritised the importance of sex and intimacy in your relationship?
The relationship vs roommate conundrum
Sex and intimacy in a relationship are vital. As without the two, you are just close friends or roommates going through the motions of life without any real points of intimate connection.
Intimacy means different things for everyone, so finding out what it means for you and your partner and communicating that is vital to the health of your relationship. Sex isn’t crucial in every romantic relationship, for example in asexual relationships and low libido couples. However, what is vital is the communication of sexual needs, especially if one partner wants sex when another doesn’t.
In an article for Psychology Today, Donna Flagg discusses whether withholding sex in a relationship is just as immoral as cheating. Despite hardly ever being satisfactory for both parties, sex is rarely discussed which can lead to cheating. In fact, Donna Flagg references Mark White’s argument that celibacy imposed by a partner may even justify cheating.
The differing levels of libido is one of the most common relationship issues. Furthermore, without communication of sexual needs, it can lead to the eventual erosion of the relationship, affairs, as well as resentment in the relationship.
But talking about sex after all this time is strange!
Whatever stage of your relationship, it can often be challenging to discuss sexual needs and desires with your partner. This is especially prominent in long-term commitments. Often sensitive discussions unleash insecurities and fears with both parties. The person may feel like they are letting their partner down or perhaps not feel good enough. As well as this, it can also lead to arguments and resentments due to perceived inequalities in the relationship. However, by not talking about sex with your partner could result in a breakdown of a relationship.
How to talk about sex with your partner
- Think carefully about what you really want. Take away self-censorship, judgement and fear and answer, in its purest form, “what do you want?”
- Choose a time to discuss the topic with your partner, so they are not surprised and have time to think about their own
- Only focus on one issue in the conversation, it should not feel like a list of faults or complaints
- Consider offering suggestions and inviting discussion from their viewpoint.
- Try to agree to implement one suggestion to start with and set a time to review the tactic at a later specified date.
Remember, you can resolve all relationship issues together with your partner if you are both willing to keep the relationship.
Whatever is holding back the sex and intimacy in your relationship can be discussed, managed and resolved with hypnotherapy. In fact, my reinvention therapy package that is tailored specifically to your happiness and well-being can help you to tackle relationship issues in as little as five weeks. During which we will work together the relinquish any anxiety and concerns and help build a stronger, happier relationship.
What my clients say
“I had serious relationship issues, very low self-esteem and self-confidence. She reassures me that in the end of my journey I will be a different person. Yes, she was right! It was emotionally very painful at times, but I came out a lot stronger and more confident than ever. Huge thank you to this lovely lady who helped me to open my eyes and see myself in a different light!” Hypnotherapy for relationship client testimonial.
It can be challenging to address the changes firstly for yourself and your relationship. However, with a careful, tailored approach that focuses entirely on your concerns, we can work together using a blended approach to ensure success.
Your Reinvention Therapy Plan
If you want to help to take the decisive steps to improve your relationship and achieve the results you are looking for, then allow me to design your Reinvention Therapy Plan. A personalised approach that will get the results you want in five weeks or less.
Together, we craft the plan with your needs in mind. I offer the level of support that you need with unlimited sessions, progress calls and the resources. As well as this, you will receive the proactive communication that you need to create a lasting change for the better.
Are you ready for reinvention?
Book your free 15-minute consultation with me by calling 0207 971 7677.
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Flagg, D. (2018). Does Cheating Pick Up Where Sexless Marriage Leaves Off?. [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/office-diaries/201404/does-cheating-pick-where-sexless-marriage-leaves [Accessed 21 May 2018].
Marriage Advice – Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples. (2018). 3 Vital Truths About the Importance of Sex in a Relationship | Marriage.com. [online] Available at: https://www.marriage.com/advice/physical-intimacy/truths-about-the-importance-of-sex-in-a-relationship/ [Accessed 21 May 2018].
Vulliamy, E. (2018). The nine most common reasons couples get divorced. [online] The Independent. Available at: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/the-nine-most-common-reasons-couples-get-divorce-a6875356.html [Accessed 21 May 2018].