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Bearing The Brunt Of Failed Relationships: How To Recover From Self Ruinous Emotional Pain

Investing your heart into any personal relationship is risky business. When things don’t work out as planned and our dreams fly out the window, we are left alone and cold to pick up the pieces.

Life comes to a standstill and you wonder if you can continue to live as normal after that. Whether you’re fresh from the battlefield of a messy breakup, or have suffering betrayal by someone you love, you most likely face the nightmare of accepting the inconceivable.

Heartbreak is severely taxing on every human being. In this regard, no one is immune to enduring the rigors of emotional pain and trauma. No matter how brave you might think you are you will not be able to traverse safely through this dark valley unscathed. There will be tears, and there will be scars. How you bear these will have a profound effect on your life.

The cannot ignore the reality that is that emotional pain can sometimes be even more detrimental to your wellbeing than physical pain. It impacts every aspect of your life, and sooner or later the body starts to signal you that you reach the limits of stress and anxiety. When this happens you can find yourself afflicted with physical illnesses ranging from a weakened immune system to serious cases of inflammation and even high blood pressure. (Psychology Today, 2016)

Let me emphatically say it doesn’t have to go that far. You are entitled to unlimited joy and a renewed sense of self-love and empowerment. The following tips are meant to help you weather the storm of inner pain when a relationship blows up in your face.

Take courage and do away with feelings of rejection.

From the various feelings within the broad dimension of emotional distress, rejection can be said to be the most painful of the lot. One of the reasons why we find it so painful is because rejection affects the exact same portions of the brain as physical pain. (Saul, 2016)

You could end up feeling lost with little or no sense of belonging. Your natural thought processes are completely disturbed, and you find it hard to remember important things. Eventually if left unchecked the feelings of rejection can cause serious mental health issues. You owe it to yourself to kick them out as soon as possible.

Stop over thinking right now and for good.

Playing back events in your mind and ruminating over the past does you no favours at all. In fact, our memories have the powerful effect of transporting us back to the actual occurrence of pain and regret. In a way, you relive the drama all over again.

Instead of getting over the painful past,  you rekindle feelings of anger, regret, and disappointment. As a result, you only feel more stressed and burdened when you don’t have to. Yes, it is true that sometimes reflecting on the past can help you to form useful realisations. But for the most part, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, it rarely helps you to reach a stage of conclusion. (Margarita Tartakovsky, 2016)

Beware also that getting stuck in the past can become a seriously bad habit which can make emotional pain a permanent resident in your life. It is known that by continuously recalling stressful incidents our bodies secrete C-reactive proteins which over time lead to heart disease. (Bakalar, 2016)

Remember that relationships can and do fail. It doesn’t make you a failure.

It’s so easy to dwell on self-blame when a relationship ends. On the one hand, you have to take responsibility for your own actions and the role you might have played for the relationships to end. However, it’s imperative that you recognise that relationships that go the distance are made up of several influencing factors. In the same way, when they don’t work out it’s sometimes hard to pin the exact causes behind things going bust.

The rule is: don’t blame yourself as a person but blame the causes. You’re only human. And no doubt you are better informed and prepared for similar situations in future. By learning to take the positives out of the emotional turmoil you gain confidence instead of a damaged self-esteem.

Adopt Hypnotherapy as a powerful way to arrest deeper negative emotions

Deep inside each of us are the accumulation of emotional issues which over time shape our responses to life’s difficulties. Often we have to deal with emotional challenges which are somehow exacerbated by our own inner demons which never leave us. These were there long before the relationship started and continue to plague us long after it ended. (Mental Health Daily, 2016)

Hypnotherapy is a proven way to help us clearly see the inner fabric of our emotional selves. And then, in turn, it helps us to work closely and positively to correct our perception of who we are. It will help you to appreciate the innate beauty you possess inside and thereby establish a sense of true personal value.

You will realise that your happiness is not dependent on any third party even if that person is your significant other. You will also discover you already have so much more you can bring into a relationship and be a means of joy to someone you care about.

Most importantly it’s time you got rid of every ounce of feeling inadequate no matter how far back you first experienced these feelings. Once you uncover the deeper unpleasant memories that hold you back in life, you will be able to move forward with greater purpose and clarity – with the people who matter most to you, and in all other areas of your life.

 

References:
1 – Psychology Today. (2016). 5 Ways Emotional Pain Is Worse Than Physical Pain. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201407/5-ways-emotional-pain-is-worse-physical-pain.
2 – Saul, H. (2016). Brain treats rejection like physical pain say scientists. [online] The Independent. Available at: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/brain-treats-rejection-like-physical-pain-say-scientists-8884507.html.
3 – Margarita Tartakovsky, M. and View all posts Margarita Tartakovsky, M. (2016). Why Ruminating is Unhealthy and How to Stop | World of Psychology. [online] World of Psychology. Available at: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/01/20/why-ruminating-is-unhealthy-and-how-to-stop/.
4 – Bakalar, N. (2016). Inflammation Byproduct Linked to Stress. [online] Well. Available at: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/31/inflammation-byproduct-linked-to-stress-and-depression/.
5 – Mental Health Daily. (2016). Repressed Memories: Causes, Mechanisms, & Coping Strategies. [online] Available at: http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/06/15/repressed-memories-causes-mechanisms-coping-strategies/.
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