Are You Being Oversensitive?
“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” – Pema Chodron
How many times have you been told ‘relax, it’s not a big deal’ or that ‘you can’t take a joke’, or you’re ‘overdramatic’? If you are already feeling emotional in a situation, it is phrases like these that can feel sharp and upsetting. It may seem like people are deliberately trying to hurt you, but are they actually being malicious or are you being oversensitive?
Sensitivity is an often misconstrued concept. We tend to think that sensitivity is a weakness. However, the opposite of sensitive is insensitive. Sensitivity shows that you’re kind, caring and empathetic, while insensitivity shows a complete lack of concern or response. Therefore, if someone tells you that you’re sensitive, this should be a compliment. So, why do we get so upset when someone tells us we’re oversensitive?
The Problem With Being Oversensitive
Being told you are oversensitive seems like an insult. If can feel like someone is completely disregarding your feelings, telling you that you shouldn’t feel that way. This then feels like a personality trait that you have to fix, so that you can be ‘normal’.
The problem is that you are upset at the situation. So, do you trust your own reactions and how you feel or what someone is telling you? It may help to ask yourself; ‘Am I actually blowing this way out of proportion, or should I genuinely be upset about this?’
If you are not sure which is right, try asking yourself these five questions the next time you feel that you might be overly sensitive in a situation.
How To Handle Emotional Oversensitivity – Ask Yourself These Five Questions
“What was the intention?”
If you take a step back from what happens, do you really believe that the person was cruel to you? Emotions run high in arguments and to work out the intention; it is best to have some space and some time alone to think. Give yourself the time you need to assess the situation with a clear head. A meditation practice can help to clear your mind and allow you to focus.
When you feel ready, start to uncover what happened. Do you believe the person was deliberately trying to upset you?
“What is the real reason that I feel hurt?”
It is easy to blame others for negative feelings. Of course, no one has the power to make you feel a certain way. You’ll often feel hurt because of your past experiences and attach an emotion to it. This is, in effect, your emotional Achilles’ heel. Do you actually feel hurt because what they said or did made you feel unattractive, unloved, stupid or embarrassed?
It is worthwhile finding the emotion that’s causing the issue and why it is having such an effect.
“Why does this bother me?”
The emotions that are causing the hurt will usually be attributed to an underlying insecurity. For example, if you’re a perfectionist and someone points out an error you make, it can unleash an insecurity about feeling inadequate. If someone dismisses you, your insecurity of feeling worthless may be the reason you have become so emotional.
“How can I feel happy again?”
Hitting on an insecurity can make you feel really upset. It is up to you to find a way to feel better about yourself or simply take your mind off it for a little while. Focus your energy on doing something to make you happy whether that’s exercising, baking, dancing or curling up with a good book.
“Can I prevent this from happening again?”
Now you know where your insecurities lie; you’ll be more aware of the triggers that can cause a highly emotional reaction. The best way to prevent the issue from happening again is to tackle your insecurities head on. Hypnotherapy can be an excellent way to rewire the brain from previous negative and insecure thoughts to new positive thoughts.
If you want to banish your insecurities for good, then get in touch by calling 0207 971 7677 to book your free 15-minute consultation.
In the meantime, it may help to explain to the other person why the particular subject is a sensitive issue to you. This way they can at least be understanding and try to tailor their responses to help you.
Don’t Forget – You’re In Control
It is important to remember when discussing oversensitivity that someone cannot make you feel a certain way. It is your reaction or what is going on internally that creates the feeling. Remember, no one has control over your emotions. Only you have the power over how you think and what you feel.
If you feel your reaction is justified, own it. Alternatively, if you think you may have overreacted, peel back what happened, so you find a way to prevent it from happening again.
If you’re just not sure, talk to me at firstname.lastname@example.org