Seven Ways To Break A Trauma Bond

In the last blog post, I examined the signs of trauma bonding and the science that can keep you trapped in a trauma bond even when you want to leave or know it’s not a healthy relationship. If you missed the blog post, you can find it here.

In this post, I’m delving into the best ways to break the bond. Because of the brain’s neurological bond with the abuser, breaking the bond is challenging and takes time, but it is possible.

Seven Ways To Break A Trauma Bond

Here are some of the ways you can help to dismantle this intense, abusive connection:

1. Pretend This Is A Novel

Imagine your situation is playing out in a book. What would you want for the lead character?

2.      Look for red flags

Do you say things like:

• They’re just under pressure; they’ll make it up to me later
• It’s my fault – I cause them to be angry
• They’re only like that because they love me so much
• They’re so sorry afterwards and promise to change
• I can’t possibly leave them or live without them
• Every relationship is different; you wouldn’t understand

It is common for someone bonded to their abuser to make excuses and protect their abuser. If you notice that you’re making excuses or covering for your partner, it may help to take note of this and reflect on this.

3. Open Up

It can be so hard, but opening up to loved ones or a professional can help you to see things from a different perspective.

4. Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Love

Don’t blame yourself. You do deserve better. Every time you catch yourself criticising yourself, think of a positive affirmation you can replace it with.

5. Stick To The Facts

Keeping a journal of purely factual information can help you to detach emotionally and spot patterns. Don’t let your emotions alter how the situation occurred.

6.      Practise Self-Care

It is common to turn towards the abuser for comfort, which deepens the bond. Instead, look to prioritise yourself and practise self-care to become your own source of comfort. This could be a creative hobby, exercising, wild swimming, meditation or anything that brings joy to your life that’s just for you.

7. Seek Professional Help

From boundary setting to improving self-confidence, professional support such as a therapist can help you better understand the patterns of abuse and the factors contributing to the bond. A therapist can help you devise a self-care plan that addresses self-criticism and low self-worth and supports you in building healthy relationships and making a clean break from the trauma bond.

To find out more about how I can support you with a trauma bond, please get in touch to book a free consultation. Just email info@hypnosis-in-london.com to book your free call.