In this week’s post I talk about the 5 stages of grieving after the end of a relationship. Written by Hypnotherapist Harley Street, Malminder Gill, 25 May 2015 published online via the Hypnosis in London Blog.
The end of a relationship
Unrequited love, break ups, being dumped – whatever you call it, the end of a relationship can be painfully distressing and letting go can seem almost impossible. To move on, you know that you have to let go, regain your sense of self-esteem and confidence, and most importantly your identity. In 1969, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross discussed the stages that one goes through when mourning the death of a close one, and these stages are very similar to the stages people go through following an untimely and often shocking relationship break up. These stages are discussed below, in no particular order. You may experience some or all of the stages listed below in varying lengths of time.
Put simply, this is when you are torn between your head and your heart. At one level you know it is over, but you can’t help but think you will get back together and often entertain daydreams of a future union. You may find it hard to believe that it’s over and feel shocked. One sign of this stage is late night texting.
This is when you feel anger towards him/her, the situation, the world at large and any number of different things that could be related to the break up – a house move, new job etc. You may even feel anger towards those people who side with your ex. One sign of this stage is getting people to side with your version of events or sending hateful texts to your ex.
In this stage, most people pray to the higher powers of God, Angels, the Universe at large to bring him/her back into their lives. This is also when a lot of negotiating is voiced, for instance “I will do X if you come back” or sometimes even threats are expressed, for example “You can’t leave our pet/family, it’s not fair to them”. One sign of this stage is getting people to convince him/her to stay.
During this stage, most people don’t want to do anything, don’t want to go out, meet their friends and would rather stay indoors all day. This is also the stage when you may feel empty on the inside, and unable to get any happiness from your regular hobbies and interests. One sign of this stage is feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
This is the stage when you feel more at peace with the situation and more stable within yourself. You feel like you can let go and move on, even though it feels like it is taking forever to do so. This stage occurs over time whilst dipping in and out of the other stages. One sign of this stage is knowing you can and will move on.
Malminder is a love hypnotist in London’s Harley Street. She helps people through these difficult times with Love Hypnotherapy. After a few sessions, clients are able to unburden themselves, feel freer, let go and improve their inner strength and confidence. Read the next post Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Stay in touch with Malminder:
Facebook ►►► www.facebook.com/MalminderG
Twitter ►►► www.twitter.com/MalminderGill