Relationships and Setting Boundaries

Relationships can be fragile. Studies show that the most common time for break-ups is 3 to 5 months. If you want to make a change in your life, then this is the time it will normally take place. (History.com, 2007)

 

Relationships based on boundaries are healthier.

Relationships based on boundaries are healthier.

 

Relationships that are healthy are based on boundaries. Otherwise, you may feel like people are taking advantage of you or taking you for granted. This type of behaviour results when you suffer from low self-esteem or lack self-confidence. If you really like someone or you love them, then you may overlook the importance of setting values for yourself. Dondas, C. (2014)

The Consequences of Not Setting Boundaries

Unfortunately, if you place someone on a pedestal, you start to weaken in front of them. When you begin doing whatever makes someone else happy, they usually will not reciprocate. That is when you start feeling used or taken for granted. Plus, if you have low self-esteem, the situation can even worsen. It is hard to show your value when you do not set boundaries for yourself and communicate them to others in your relationships. O’Brien, K. (2014a) That is why it is vitally important to establish boundaries in relationships. In addition to setting boundaries, it is helpful to receive the benefits of hypnotherapy, to meditate, and to revere who you are. If you do not set boundaries, then your self-esteem invariably suffers, and you begin to lose your footing in your relationships.

How Much Do You Respect Yourself?

If you want to set boundaries and change, you have to admit it. The boundaries you establish show the degree of your self-respect. Therefore, you can consider boundaries as friends. You have to love or like yourself first so you can healthily receive another person’s respect.

What are Your Core Values?

In order to set boundaries, list your core values. Cores values answer the questions of who you are and what you, yourself, value. For instance, if you expect quality time, honesty, and monogamy in a relationship, you need to convey this sentiment by your actions and attitude. If you currently are in a difficult relationship, you need to set boundaries around yourself.

Changing Your Response

Remember, you cannot change other people but you have the power to change yourself. Whilst you may wish that a co-worker would treat you with more respect or that your friend would stop calling five times a day, it is not up to you to change the behaviour. O’Brien, K. (2014b)

You have to change your own response and how you are handling a situation. In turn, some people may be motivated to change if their old behaviours stop working.

Following Up with the Proper Response

Boundaries are about realising your own needs, not judging how others behave. So, if a friend calls you after the time you have set for taking calls, simply do not answer the phone. If your spouse or boyfriend cheats on you after they know your stance on monogamy, leave the relationship.

Let Your Behaviour Do The Talking

Your life will change when your behaviour, not your words, do the talking. If you set certain boundaries and people test the limits, stick to your core values and the rules you have made for yourself. When you stop reacting to another person’s behaviour, your self-esteem will increase. Say what you mean and follow though. When you follow this rule, your life will begin to improve.

If you need to overcome relationship issues or the related problem of stress, contact in Hypnotherapy London for a consultation and an appointment. Use all the resources you can to enhance your level of self-esteem and deal with others in a healthier and more productive manner.

Hypnotherapy supports positive thinking and positive solutions. Contact Hypnotherapy London about scheduling an appointment for hypnotherapy to enhance your self-esteem. Our contact email is info@hypnosis-in-london.com.

 

References:

Bibliography

Dondas, C. (2014) Is this why other people always take you for granted?  .. Available at: http://lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com/reasons-why-youre-always-being-taken-for-granted (Accessed: 30 August 2016).

History.com (2007) 76 interesting facts about dating and relationships. Available at: http://facts.randomhistory.com/dating-and-relationship-facts.html (Accessed: 30 August 2016).

O’Brien, K. (2014a) 6 steps to set good boundaries. Available at: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13176/6-steps-to-set-good-boundaries.html (Accessed: 30 August 2016).

O’Brien, K. (2014b) 6 steps to set good boundaries. Available at: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13176/6-steps-to-set-good-boundaries.html (Accessed: 30 August 2016).

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