Hypnotherapist in London, Malminder was asked by The Professional to share with their readers her top tips on how to manage your emotions and mental state before trying to manage others. Read the full article below. Published by The Professional in print and online on 28 June 2014.
Emotions, whether good or bad, follow us everywhere we go and whilst some can be kept behind closed doors at home, the workplace can prove to be an emotional playground. What you bring to the playground begins to define you, others start to judge you and sometimes those robes of judgement are quite uncomfortable.
What to do? Should we all have therapy before considering a more senior role? Not necessarily, here are some simple tips to help keep your emotions in check and add more spring to your step.
Consider how you show up to work each day
Too often, people show up to work in a lousy mood and rely on others or outside circumstances to change it. Are you relying on others to improve your mood? Do you feel good? Are you drained? Do you feel anxious? The first step to improving your emotional mind-set is to recognise it and check-in a few times a day. Be curious and question what has led you to this current state of emotion. Is there a pattern emerging here? Do you always feel like XYZ when exposed to that circumstance, that person or that project? What can you do differently to improve your mood
Discover what you want
No matter where you are perched on the career ladder, be sure to know what you want from your current job. Think about how your current job aligns you with your career plan, how well it fits in with your life and what you expect to achieve in this job. A simple way to do this is to think about what you would write on your CV in the future in relation to your current job. By figuring out what you really want from your job you may discover a renewed sense of purpose and direction.
Set your intentions
We often think about tomorrow’s schedule the day before and this is the perfect time to start setting your intention for how you want to feel. Each evening, take a few moments before dozing off to set your intentions for the next day. Perhaps you were not feeling great earlier on in the day and so you could declare ‘I want to feel good, I want to be energised’. When you awake in the morning remind yourself of what you declared the night before and keep that as your mantra for the day.
Choose curiosity over war
We all have times when our work, project or team are under attack. Rather than eating the sour grapes before you and unleashing the emotions that come with becoming defensive, choose to be curious. Ask the ‘why’ questions with an intention to resolve issues, be open to understanding other’s point of view – this usually lends itself to a more collaborative approach to resolution rather than the stress of attack and defence.
Get into the habit of switching off after work, something as simple as listening to music, going to the gym, meeting friends, playing a game or reading a book straight after work provides a good distraction. You could also mentally repeat the mantra ‘Work is finished for now’ as you leave the building with the intention of picking things up again when you enter the building the next working day.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you have little to offer others
What do you do for yourself on a daily or weekly basis? How much time do you spend doing things you actually love? Remember, life is for living and although life can be busy, years can go past in ‘work’ mode, leading to burnout and wondering where the years went. To re-focus on a more wholesome life in your mind’s eye, fast forward 10 years and look back at the you in the here and now – what advice would the older you give to the current you now?
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