Feeling Lost? Here’s How To Find Yourself
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” – Henry David Thoreau
Whether through work, social situations or relationships, it can be easy to lose track of who you are and what you stand for. This can manifest in many ways. You may feel lost, empty, joyless, drained, an outsider, unfulfilled or simply feel sad. If you tick any of these boxes; it is time to find yourself again.
Do you know;
- Who you are?
- What you want?
- What you are thinking?
It is so easy to brush these feelings and questions away because you’re too busy, stressed or just haven’t got the time. But, by ignoring the issue, you’ll eventually find that you are completely lost. You may discover that you are miles off the track that you initially wanted for yourself. While this may not be a bad thing, it is essential to review your path and to be present in yourself so that you feel tuned in and in control.
Why do you feel lost?
One of the most common reasons why people feel lost is that they’ve become so stuck in their daily routine. Their body goes through the motions, and the mind switches off. If you experience this, you end up forgetting to experience each moment, create challenges for yourself and enjoying the little things. Instead, you do what you are supposed to, rather than what your true self wants. This can lead to a loss of confidence, self-worth and independence.
On the other hand, you may feel lost when you embark on a new challenge. As you do something that goes against your norm, you may wonder why you are doing it and for what purpose. Again, you can suffer from a loss of confidence, self-assurance and may question your abilities.
Time to stop feeling ‘alright.’
What can be really frustrating is when everything seems fine, and there is no reason to feel lost. You may feel that you’re ticking all of life’s boxes with your career and relationship, but there’s just something niggling at the back of your mind. It is this feeling that leaves you feeling happy enough rather than happy and doing alright rather than feeling good.
It may seem scary, but often the way to actually feeling happy is by knowing who you really are. This means being you without your learnt behaviours, societal expectations and what people want you to do.
How to find yourself again
“Feeling lost? Take a dream and convert it into small goals, then start taking the steps to hit those goals.” – Dave Ramsey
It is not easy to find clarity. It seems simple to know who you are and what you want. However, you will often ask yourself questions that can muddy your convictions and stop you moving forward purposefully.
Review your day, for a week
For one week, make a list of all the moments in each day that give you a positive feeling and all of the moments that drain you. Every time something happens, that creates a positive or negative reaction in you, jot it down. It can help to have two columns, one good, one bad.
At the end of the week, you can see which aspects of your routine are not making you happy. While you may not be able to get rid of some of these draining activities, after all, emptying the dishwasher still has to be done, you can look for ways to improve each activity with more intention and presence.
Then look for the ways to add to the good list. Ideally, you can increase the number of activities that make you happy and adding more which you have previously neglected or not tried before.
Self-acceptance is essential before taking your next step forward. You need to know the aspects of you (not just your life) which you are not happy with. You cannot understand your whole and true self unless you know where your weaknesses lie or the aspects that you don’t like about yourself.
Instead, try to see yourself as who you are. This way you can learn to strengthen the positive aspects to help you reach your goals. Having an awareness of the negatives means you won’t take steps that weaken these vulnerable areas. You can also avoid the environments where your weaknesses tend to come out.
Create bold goals
There is no shame in dreaming big. In fact, having bold goals can help to shape the person that you are. However, you should only put in place small, frequent steps to get there. Creating a significant goal with a clear pathway of steps stops the target from being daunting but continues to keep you focused. Don’t worry if you realise that the goal isn’t what you want any more; keep reframing your goals so that they continue to motivate you.
If you lose sight of yourself, take time to get to know your body again. Breathing exercises can help you to connect to your core (follow this link for some of the most effective breathing techniques), while meditation can help to block out the noise so you can focus on your mind.
Exercise and yoga can be incredibly powerful in helping you to reconnect with your body, learning what it can do and where you can work harder. If you feel a disconnect with your emotions, start writing a journal. This can be a life-changing tool as you bare all of your thoughts, giving yourself the power to accept them and action them.
Need help finding yourself?
For some people, it can be incredibly difficult to strip away all of the noise and stress to be able to find yourself again. However, NLP and hypnotherapy can be incredibly powerful at allowing you to focus on your needs and get you back to who you want to be. If you want to find the best you possible, get in touch to start your therapy programme today — Call 0207 971 7677 to book your initial consultation for free.